Blue Poison

You are poison, in a way I can’t believe I fell for,

You’d think I’d learn, after fooling myself into thinking,

a demon was a snowy angel.

You’d think I’d be more careful with a heart ripped apart by past,

uncaring friendships and torn up from unkindness, and stitched back

together with the string of my yellow resilience.

I thought I saw you clearly, I knew enough to be weary,

a little nervous of you and your flinty eyes.

You said such lovely things, that made me feel seen and valued and when you touched my skin,

it felt safe like the way friends should be.

Yet now, you look unkind and hollow,

like the monster you tried to hide has crawled out of your soul,

and is breathing behind your flesh and looking with your eyes.

Don’t think that I am glass in your hands,

I’m hurt but I think you are too, not because you care about me,

or anyone for that matter.

But people will always flock to you,

to your sharp intelligence and beautiful, false words,

and then flee from you when they realise how cruel,

and selfish you are.

And that will hurt you someday, we’re not meant to die alone,

not even you with your rudimentary cleverness and wit.

Do you think by proclaiming yourself heartless,

it makes your actions okay?

By crowing out “morals are subjective”

gives you some sort of license to cause pain?

You’ve hurt people I love and I want to rip you apart and

that tears me up because we were close, I would have torn people up for

hurting you.

Yet now you’ve forced me into a place where I am showing you my teeth.

The real, pain pumping fleshy heart of it all that kills me,

is that I know you really don’t care, I know you don’t care about the loss of our friendship or the hurt you’ve caused or the anger I feel.

I hate that you’re walking around, un-bothered by your devastation, the tail of your hurricane of emotional damage.

I hate that I want to claw open your chest to see if you even have a heart inside,

but I hope I don’t find one, if you have none I can understand the ravaging cruelty

of you. But, if I find a heart in the cage of your ribs I will have to crush it.

For the world is in danger of a monster who can cause the pain you do,

and still have a beating heart driving him forward.

I know you won’t read this, but if you ever did,

I want you to know that I’m not writing this because I loved you,

I’m not writing this because you’re some sort of enigmatic creature, of complex emotions and beautifully tragic eyes,

who had my heart in his hands.

I’m not even writing this to make myself feel better.

I am writing this because I will look back and see my words here,

riven with crimson anger and the yellow petals of my strength,

and I will remember you and what you were.

And I will know never to let a selfish brat like you,

anywhere near me or mine, ever again.

Because you are poison and you never deserved my friendship,

and I certainly didn’t deserve yours.


I miss the person I thought you were

Oh my God it hurts,

I didn’t think it did,

I didn’t think it could.

I thought that my rage for you,

would burn through our friendship,


charring whatever feeling I had.

But now, in the lonely night,

when the darkness whispers for me to be honest,

if only with myself and the night’s sympathetic ear.

I say it aloud, what I feel but shouldn’t feel;

‘I miss you and I want you to miss me’

I am a Sunflower, I am a Garden

I am anxiety and kindness,

wrapped in hazel eyes and a sweet smile.

Even when darkness coils through my chest,

sunlight still extends through my mouth.

I love myself, my soul and my heart,

I don’t mind if no one else does.

I am strong, with shoulders that bear the pain of others,

and arms that carry my heart, bursting with love.

My intelligence is the tenacity of the lioness,

no adder’s tongue slips through my teeth.

My mind is expanding like the universe,

my talent growing like a sunflower.

I am a Garden that does not need to be tilled,

that does not need light.

My strength comes through the ground,

from  the roots beneath your feet,

from the earth and her inherent kindness,

whom you have forgotten.

The vow of my bursting heart

Stop and think of all the atrocities you know of.

How awful, that we see the scenes of war in our living rooms,

and remain vaguely detached.

How awful, that we see death and brutality, more publicised than ever,

but cannot bring ourselves to climb out of our minds and care about it.

Perhaps no heart is big enough to carry the sadness of the human race.

But compassion is our saving grace, and I will try, I swear I will try,

to care about every single person who crosses my path.

When did the stars lose their magic?

I wish I could still see the beauty of the night,

Instead of the emptiness of house windows and the desolation of pavements.

I wish I could find the halogen streetlights enchanting,

Instead of seeing the loneliness of their orange hearts and forlorn glow.

I wish I could wish upon the stars in the velvet darkness,

Instead of knowing with cold clarity that they are dead and billions of miles from me.

When, I wonder, did the night become sad? When did the streetlights become cold?

When did the stars lose their magic?

The West Wind

I feel so angry that this blond buffoon  and his blatant racism appeals to so many. The world feels like it is shifting irrecoverably towards hatred and intolerance. The climate of fear is like a room full of gas and I can’t help feeling like Trump may not even be the spark to ignite it. I feel like something even more terrible is coming. Something so terrible that it will turn the political spectrum and public opinion on its head. Whether if it’s a race riot that ends in deaths or a terrorist attack on a scale greater than 9/11 or a world leader setting up an internment camp or a ban on public worship. Something is going to happen and I hope I can keep a clear, logical and ,above all, kind head when it does.