I feel Surreal

I feel adrift, cut off from reality and my heart and soul,

Just the night before last I was convinced I could feel everything,

I could feel your breath like it was a hurricane, feel my heart beating in my throat,

I could feel the burn of vodka sear my throat, the rip of tobacco smoke into my lungs.

But, now, everything feels surreal, exterior to me, as if a dream has crawled into daylight.

I know I love her and fear her hurting, I know I will protect her, I know my parents love me,

I know that I find joy in charcoal smudging my fingers, I know that I love music and have things to do,

But I really can’t feel it, and that’s so scary, or it should be, I’m a deep feeling person, that’s what I do.

I’m not that cold person anymore, why am I regressing? I feel lonely when I’m around people and lost when I’m alone.

But, I plant my feet and breath the crystalline air and ice/grass smell and look upward to the beautiful of the sky and the infinite sensuality of the night.

I ground myself, expel the air from my lungs like dragon’s breath, proof I have warmth, that I’m alive and I whisper;

“This too will pass.”

 

 

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