I feel adrift, cut off from reality and my heart and soul,
Just the night before last I was convinced I could feel everything,
I could feel your breath like it was a hurricane, feel my heart beating in my throat,
I could feel the burn of vodka sear my throat, the rip of tobacco smoke into my lungs.
But, now, everything feels surreal, exterior to me, as if a dream has crawled into daylight.
I know I love her and fear her hurting, I know I will protect her, I know my parents love me,
I know that I find joy in charcoal smudging my fingers, I know that I love music and have things to do,
But I really can’t feel it, and that’s so scary, or it should be, I’m a deep feeling person, that’s what I do.
I’m not that cold person anymore, why am I regressing? I feel lonely when I’m around people and lost when I’m alone.
But, I plant my feet and breath the crystalline air and ice/grass smell and look upward to the beautiful of the sky and the infinite sensuality of the night.
I ground myself, expel the air from my lungs like dragon’s breath, proof I have warmth, that I’m alive and I whisper;
“This too will pass.”