At my back

You hiss and snarl with your teeth on

the back of my neck, I can feel your breath,

I know you are there and you think I cannot.

I could whip around, pin you to the ground,

with my jaws and we would rip you open.

But, I do not, you need something to cling to,

It might as well be the flesh you have bloodied.

Half finished lyrics to a forgotten song/dream

If we fly away

and tomorrow comes just a second too late

we can lay together for a while

Just sing softly under me, live this life with simplicity

Hold hands count flowers in the grass

Kiss softly and play, ┬ádream about tomorrow’s day

Where it’ll be more of the same

Forests and fields and mountains yield

Hold on to this land take my soul in your hands

Oh, my lady love,

straw grass for hair and mountain moss for eyes,

my life is the stars and space between the clouds no can can really catch up now

cuz we’re flying, so high,

breathe with me and sigh and never want to die

my love, my heart

we’re alive and brave and we’ll never be afraid so

fly, fly so high high high

and pray that tomorrow’s day will be more of the same.

my love.

 

Lucy

She is a slip of a girl,

so small and delicate,

but a kind of elegance to her,

an eloquence to her fingers,

an energy in her face.

There is beauty, of course,

silver blue eyes, crimson lips

eyelashes like winter trees

and hair the colour of honey,

and she tastes just as sweet.

Mankind

I want to paint you,

and use cerulean blue

burnt sienna and lemon yellow,

or,

I want to sketch the harsh lines

of your face,

using charcoal and chalk

And press the dark smudges against your skin.

Be my muse, strange creature of love and hate and fear.

Let me render your features, the feminine sweep of eyelashes and cruel curl of your mouth,

the curve of your neck, the arch of your back,

the elegance of your fingers.

But the light in your eyes,

I will never capture,

nor should I aspire to.

I don’t want you, to possess you or make you mine,

to claim you with tongue and teeth,

I just want you to sit,

in my company,

with silence and breathe,

and be my muse.

 

Head and Heart

I annoy myself,

my God I do,

One moment, I love my soul,

I am the sun and I can see my rays stretched from my skin,

eyes and lips,

reaching others and painting them gold.

Other times, I hate my mind, my heart,

I am a void and I can see black smoke ripping from my throat,

teeth and fingernails,

reaching others and draining them dry.

Oh, I’m so dramatic,

I use big words, metaphors and imagine myself,

terribly interesting and spiritual.

I’m a good person, a good person, a good, person

No, I’m a pretentious girl with enough anxiety to fill the Nile.

And enough self-hate to fill a swimming pool

(See, that’s not even true.)

I love, I’m a child, what is love?

I describe it eloquently, I describe hate and pain and rage

I am a baby in the roots of the world, how can I understand?

I demand from my friends, my Head and my Heart ,

I demand their affection, their love and time,

but I’m a child in the ways of people,

I don’t understand the norm, what is wrong and what’s right?

I can’t say this, can’t act like that, I can talk about suicide, but if I mention love

MY GOD DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

I can warm myself by the light of their affection,

but move slowly, don’t scare them away,

they’re too nervous, I’m too open?

Too closed off?

Why is it when I decide to feel something,

I pick Depression and Cynicism wrapped in charisma and a killer smile,

I pick Self-Hate and Suicide wreathed in laughter and gorgeous lips.

I suppose, because, we’re all a little fucked up

I want to heal and love

and that’s just my type.

 

 

Blue Fire

I can’t write you a poem,

You’re not like her,

I can only mention you in passing,

I can’t look you in the eye.

There’s a darkness under your sarcasm,

A shard in your cold eyes,

I recognise it, I had that ice

and it terrifies me.

I’ve given a segment of my heart

to a person capable of what I am.

And I scare myself.

Darl

When did it stop being so easy to love?

We said it all the time as kids,

I love you mummy, I love you daddy,

You said I love you to the boy you held hands with at break when you were five,

You said I love you to your friends, to the trees you passed on your way to school.

Why now, is it more terrifying to say I Love you than I Hate you?

We fear each other so much my darlings, Isn’t it funny?

Or am I the only one that is scared, are you afraid?

Or maybe you don’t care, no I know you do but do you?

Overthinking, anxiety ripping open my chest,

you both can pick my heart up, stitch your love onto its flesh

or tear it to ribbons, I don’t care.

I will do what you wish,

Until, one day, something goes wrong, and I will show you my teeth.

No, that is my wolf talking, I cannot hurt you, never could,

but pretending I could makes me feel more secure,

because, my god, I am glass in your hands.